LONDON, ENGLAND – In a rare interview with the Times of London, the 13th Doctor revealed today that she decides which shampoo to purchase based on the extent to which each brand’s commercials attempt to promote gender equality.
“This is the first time I’ve regenerated as a woman, and it’s opening my eyes in a new way,” she said. “And yes, I try to promote equality and understanding in everything I do during my travels through time and space. But what’s most important is the consumer goods I choose to purchase,” she continued.
The Doctor went on to explain that, “When a commercial tells me that I deserve to feel beautiful no matter what the patriarchy says, and that the way for me to feel beautiful is to purchase their shampoo, it’s just really convincing.”
In her closing remarks, the Doctor added, “The women in those commercials toss their hair so confidently because, while misogynistic beauty standards still may exist in this time, at least it’s their choice how they’re going to allow those beauty standards to control their lives. And that’s the kind of confidence I need to defeat the likes of the Daleks and the Cybermen.”
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