LOS ANGELES, CA – Over the last few days, Avengers: Endgame has premiered in theaters and Game of Thrones has rattled fans with the Battle of Winterfell. Now, women everywhere who haven’t yet seen one or both of these major moments in fandom history are dodging spoilers the way they’re used to dodging catcalls on the street.
“I was traveling all weekend so I didn’t have the chance to see Endgame or Game of Thrones,” said Kellie Kirkpatrick, 28, of Burbank. “I thought it would be hard to avoid all the spoilers on Facebook and Instagram. But then I realized, it’s just like ignoring guys who shout at me on the street. I have literally a lifetime of experience with this.”
Carrie Bowman, 31, of Glendale, had a similar reaction. “I had family stuff this weekend so didn’t get to watch either [the movie or the show]. But I’ve been to so many bars where I’ve had to dodge random dudes trying to hit on me. Avoiding spoilers today is no problem.”
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As of publication, there is no word as to how successful male fans have been with avoiding spoilers, though presumably it has been more challenging for them given their relative lack of experience.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is satire.