METROPOLIS – After foiling yet another diabolical scheme conceived of by the corporate mogul and infamous villain Lex Luthor, acclaimed superhero and Justice League member Superman is currently trying to decide whether to send an angry tweet.
The tweet reportedly reads, “I don’t understand why @LexLuthor has to be such a stick in the mud. I hope the chocolate chips in his cookies always turn out to be raisins.”
When asked to comment, Superman said, “I just don’t know. I mean, it’s not good to bottle my emotions. Maybe it’ll be cathartic? But on the other hand, there’s no need for unnecessary confrontation and public shaming feels petty.”
As of publication, Superman had reportedly left his cursor hovering over the send button to brew himself a cup of chamomile tea, stating that he thinks better when he’s relaxed.
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