NEW YORK, NY – Accomplished NYPD officer and owner of an awesome robot arm Misty Knight went on a date yesterday and almost ordered a salad but decided to go with a bacon double cheeseburger at the last minute.
Knight reportedly met her date, Sam Hamilton, 39, of Brooklyn, on the dating site Match.com.
When asked for comment, Knight said, “Well at first I was thinking I had just met this guy, I didn’t want to look gluttonous. But then I thought, I’m friggin’ Misty Knight! I’ve gone up against Diamondback and The Hand…I can eat a damn burger if I want to.”
Demonstrating a rare understanding of the fact that a woman’s eating habits and the choices she makes for her body are no one’s business but her own, Hamilton replied, “I think Misty should be able to eat whatever she wants and not feel weird about it. I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy, but I think I’m going to ask her out again.”
According to sources, Knight also decided to order a Stella Artois and a slice of strawberry cheesecake.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is satire.