NATIONAL CITY– Media mogul Cat Grant, founder of CatCo Worldwide Media, sent an email today that contained absolutely no emojis. The email was also completely free of the terms “lol”, “imho”, and “jk.”
The successful executive and seasoned journalist was reportedly reaching out to a contact about a story relating to Supergirl and her work with the Department of Extra-Normal Operations.
When asking the contact if it would be possible to schedule a phone call, Grant did not include any phrases like, “So sorry to trouble you,” “I’m sure you’re super busy but if you might happen to have just few minutes,” or “A quick chat would be awesome :)”
Instead, the email simply said, “I’m writing a story and I could use your expertise. If you’re available, I’d like to schedule a call. Thank you.”
When asked for comment, Grant replied, “You think I’m going to be all sugar and spice to appease other people? Please, you know me better than that.”
As of publication, Grant’s source has reportedly replied with a simple and straightforward response, and the two have scheduled a phone call for tomorrow morning.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is satire.