Scooby Doo: Velma Reveals She Was the Real Leader (Not Fred)
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velma dinkley scooby dooAfter decades of gaining notoriety for helping to solve some of the country’s most unexplainable mysteries, Velma Dinkley spoke out via a series of tweets today about what life was really like for her team of amateur investigators when the cameras were turned off.

“Everyone thinks Fred was the leader. And he was my friend, but I think it’s important to point out that he was really just the figurehead for the group,” Dinkley said.

“Frankly, I was the one who did all the work. I was the only one who understood anything about forensics, or how to manage a proper investigation,” she continued. “Daphne helped. But Shaggy and Scooby were stoned a good 75 percent of the time. And Fred, I mean, he’s a case of mediocre white dudes getting all the recognition.”

Many Twitter users have chimed in with their own stories about not being credited properly for their work. User @karenmcqueen17 replied, “I totally relate, @velmadinkley. I work with this guy who always makes it look like he helped come up with ideas that were just mine. Like it was a ‘shared effort’ when really it was just me.”

Twitter user @stephaniethomas_nyc said, “Right?? Like people just assume dudes are gonna be good at their jobs. They have to really fuck up for people to see they’re incompetent. But we always have to prove ourselves.”

Dinkley currently lives in Beverly Hills with her wife Edna “E” Mode, widely known for her work developing suits for superheroes, as shown in the documentary The Incredibles and its sequel. The two have a daughter majoring in astrophysics at Caltech.

DISCLAIMER: This blog is satire.