Local Man Tells Captain Marvel He Likes Her Long Hair
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the theatrical release today of the Marvel Studios biographical film based on her life, Carol Danvers, widely known as Captain Marvel, has found herself very much in the public eye.

This was evident today when local man Kevin Montgomery, 34, approached Danvers in the bakery section of the Pennsylvania Avenue Trader Joe’s to inform her that he approves of her decision to grow her hair long again, after an extended period of keeping it short.

“She was just minding her own business, picking out bran muffins, and I thought it was the right time to give her my opinion about her hair,” Montgomery said.

“It’s not that it looked bad short. But girls just look more feminine with long hair, you know? And I thought she’d appreciate hearing that I think she looks good,” he continued.

Montgomery reportedly also informed the Avenger, leader of Alpha Flight, and S.H.I.E.L.D. operative that, while he doesn’t dislike her current costume, he prefers the design of the one she donned in the past.

When asked for her reaction, Danvers laughed and got back to the business of saving the planet from intergalactic threats.

DISCLAIMER: This blog is satire.

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